Mr. Poops

Disclaimer:  the following could be construed as distasteful and disgusting and should not be viewed by the weak of constitution or those with a delicate stomach.  Nor should this reading be viewed by young children as such viewing might promote degenerate behavior.  In fact, the author should stop reading immediately before continued writing of this post is impeded by the offsetting of remembered "gag-reflex".  Viewer discretion is advised.

One day this week I arrived home hot and tired and after greeting my bride with a kiss and a hug, I set my bag down and went in search of the little faces that would help to wash away all of the cares from my day.

My bride informed me that my oldest was next door swimming.  My daughter came running out of her room and hugged me.  Joy.  I love this part of the day.  Austin, however, would not come immediately to me.  I said "hi buddy" and he returned my greeting as he continued to pick up cars from the floor in the hallway.  He hurried past me and then back again as he went down the hall to his room.  I could tell by his demeanor he probably had been in trouble and was instructed to clean up.  Then it hit me; an odor that was repugnant and disgusting.  I looked at my bride quizzically.  "What is that?"  Her face mirrored a similar confusion  and the same thought struck both of us. 

"Austin?  Do you have to go potty?"  He sheepishly muttered something from his bedroom and we could both tell from the tone of his voice that he thought he was in trouble.  Uh-oh.  This usually means he has done something worth being in trouble.  "Austin, come here."  As he came around the corner, it was apparent on his face that he knew he had been caught, but we had no idea what we had caught him in.   "Austin do you have to go....."  There was that odor again.  "Come here Austin".

He began nervously coughing as he approached.  My bride turned him around and looked in his pants and nearly gagged as the odor immediately filled the hallway in concentration.  His pants were full and overflowing with excrement and it was evident he had been roaming the rooms in this condition for some time.  "Austin?  Why did you potty in your pants?" she asked, worried for his health.

We never expected the answer we received.  "Because I angry and I wanted to."

My emotions went from "poor little guy didn't quite make it to the bathroom" to "YOU DID WHAT?????" in a furious flash.  My bride asked the thoughts I was thinking as anger stole speech from my tongue.  "Why would you do this?"  The answer was the same.  "Because I angry and I wanted to."  We obviously had a few things to say to our soiled son - but they would have to wait as we had to get him cleaned up.  The stench was overwhelming.  Tonya went to the bedroom to garner clean clothing and I took Mr. Poops to the bathroom.  I then heard her exclaiming in dismay and shock from the other room and left my son as I ran down the hallway.  At the foot of his bed was a small pile of his recent gifting where he had evidently started his rebellious "I'll show you" rant by squatting on the floor just before filling his pants.  We were both outraged and shocked at our son's actions.  This is one of those times where your children hear you say their full name with volume and force. 

"AUSTIN JOEL MIKEWORTH!!!"

My daughter, by now intrigued by the commotion came running in.  "What?  What's going on?"  We told her to leave as we tried to absorb this foul new chain of events.  "What happened?" 

"Austin pooped on the floor!", we chimed in unison.  Her reply took this series of events to a new level.  "Really?", she said.  "Well he peed on my carpet too!"  Tonya and I just stared at each other, open mouthed.  Our sweet son, had used our daughter's area rug as urinal.

I later learned that my son had been asked to clean his toys up prior to my arrival.  Like most 6 year olds this was not on the top of his list of "most-funnest-things-to-do-ever" and after repeated episodes of disobedience he finally relented with the threat of losing his beloved Mario Brothers game for the evening.  His simple response - poop his pants and pee on his sister's rug.

You can imagine bath time was not that fatherly Norman Rockwell warm bonding moment.  Cleaning off a six year old boy who not only purposefully soiled himself but then walked around in it for an unaccounted-for-amount of time was not the best thing I did that day.  In fact, it probably rates as one of the least favorite things I've ever done.  One can only imagine how well that filth worked its way into all of the "nooks and crannies" of human anatomy when allowed to on an active little boy.  Three days later I am still disgusted by the experience, my son is still sans Mario Brothers, and Lydia is still teasing him about wetting on the carpet like Figaro (the dog).  But I've gained some perspective on the affair. 

Austin's actions were not just the lashing out of a rebellious 6 year old who did not want to clean his room.  A phenomenon that is common with foster and adopted children is they will often push the envelope of obedience and known consequences just to see what the parents' reactions will be.  They will frequently do things as if to say "See what I just did?  What are you going to do?  Do you still love me?"  They are constantly testing the depth and integrity of the bonds of commitment of their new found families when all they've ever known is fear and abandonment. 

And there is the picture of us all.  How often have we rebelled against our Heavenly Father, tested His love for us?  Some go to extremes by engaging in actions or lifestyles they know to be harmful to self or others, all to say "Do you still love me?  Will anyone still love me?"  His answer is always "Yes, more than you can possibly imagine or know."  Some refuse to give over the reigns of their lives, refuse to submit their wills, convinced no love could undo their past.  Existing in the filth of sin, they ignore the plea of the Father "Please come to me, let me clean that off of you and make you whole and healthy." 

I love my son, though I honestly was not feeling compassion as I cleaned his filthy naked body in the bathtub that night.  God, thankfully,  loves each of us with great compassion even when we continue to test that love; even when we continue to say to him "Do you still love me?"  There will be judgement for actions.  There are consequences for choices.  Rebellion is sin and sin coils around us with deadly ramifications if we continue to permit its existence in our lives.  But our Father is continually pleading with us to let the blood of His Son wash us clean from all of this, let Him cleanse us spotless, righteous, and blameless.  There is nothing cleaner than God's clean. 

So  you threw a tantrum, you squatted in a corner and rebelled, did that thing that is harmful to you, said those words you shouldn't have, hurt that person, or made that choice.  He'll lovingly clean you off, set you on your feet, and put you back on your right path.  You don't have to remain Mr. Poops.

"But if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ is, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from every sin.  If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth.  But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong."
1 John 1:7-9  NLT

Unworthy

Summer is flying past and I am barely holding onto the ride that is my life.  Commitments at work, commitments in the arena of public elected offices I hold, and most importantly commitments at home - all of them play a daily tug of war for my thoughts, my energies, and my time. 

At work I am being asked to undertake more responsibilities than most of my co-workers based upon my skills and work ethic.  This is not a self-pat on the back, it is simply my values brought into the workplace.  The cost is often increased deadlines and stress. 

I hold two elected offices representing local and state library boards.  Committee meetings regularly interrupt my weeknights.  Budget meetings, policy revisions, local and state law review, countless hundreds of miles driven for board meetings;  all of these time away from my home, the faces that comprise my fan club.

At home, my bride and I have undertaken a project to renovate the interior of our home.  We have big plans ahead of us, all contingent upon the proper layout and finishing touches of our "remodel".  It was to have been completed in May.  It is mid-July and we've been 1/2 done for 6 weeks.  My garden is neglected.  My house needs painted.  I need to build a fence in the back yard this year.  I need to get a new roof installed prior to winter... the list and the stresses goes on.

In the midst of all of this:  Africa.  God's calling upon my heart to visit and minister to our kids at the Ludlati care point in Swaziland is sure.  I felt it strongly in January at our first team meeting.  I felt it again in March.  I felt it during the garage sales in April, May, and June, during the Apron Auction fund raiser and subsequent team meetings.  God has continued to confirm it in me even when I've had doubts.  Where I've been ready to cash in my chips at times for lack of resources or will, God has opened every door, supplied every need, and placed this journey at my feet with the words "I want you to step into this".

Now, two weeks from stepping onto African soil with escalating pressures in every arena of my life, the enemy of my soul softly chants "Unworthy."

"You are not worthy of this honor - you do not belong with this team.  You did not do enough to garner this privilege.  You are not prepared for this journey.  You aren't even holding your life together.  You are not doing a good job at work - you aren't going to make your deadlines before leaving.  You are not a good father.  You are not a good husband.  You are negligent of your family and leaving them in a terrible state.  You are doing a substandard job at your elected positions.  What do you think you can possibly bring to those who know daily neglect, hunger, and isolation when you can't even reconcile your own privileged American life?  You are failing in every realm.  You are unworthy even of your Father's love - your actions and failures have proven this." 

Oh enemy of my soul, liar of liars, enticer of mens' hearts and minds.  As a roaring lion you prowl.  I am so thankful you have been defeated.  Too often have I given you credibility.  Too often have I listened to your beguiling half truths and misspoken falsehoods and walked them out to their disastrous conclusions.  Too often have I ignored the power of my Father's unfailing love.


"Unfailing love" - this phrase is used nearly two dozen times in the Psalms in reference to God's love for us.
(Psalms 13:5, 23:6, 31:7, 32:10, 33:5, 36:5, 48:9, 52:8, 59:17, 63:3, 86:15, 89:2, 90:14, 130:7, 138:2, 147:11 - to name a few...)

Unfailing - Absolute; Boundless; Consistent; Continuous; Diligent; Endless; Eternal; Faithful; Inexhaustible; Persistent; Solid; Sure; Trustworthy; Unlimited; Unrelenting.

Read this definition again.  Done?  Now read it again, out loud.  Let it take shape in your thinking.  Unfailing is permanent.  It is immovable.  It is unshakable.  It is not swayed by circumstance.  Unfailing simply does not fail.

I am worthy, but not because of me. Because of Him, because He resides within me. I am called His temple, His habitation.  I am loved, but not because of any action or merit of my own.   His love for me is based solely on the simple truth of who He is and takes nothing of who I am, my past, my accomplishments or my failures into account. It does not matter if I claim a thousand souls for his kingdom in my life or simply one. It does not matter if I enjoy continual successes or endure continual failures, if I perfectly obey his every command or break his every law.  I cannot affect or change His love for me because He is immutable, unshakable, and eternal.  My response to His Word is an indicator of my love for Him, but does not alter or change His love for me.

I am worthy; worthy to live the life He has called me to, an abundant overflowing life.  I am worthy to live in the arenas He has placed me in.  I may not choose the circumstances around my life, but I can choose the foundation upon which I build my life - the foundation of His Word, of regular time and fellowship with Him, of thanksgiving and praise towards Him.  When built upon this, my life is built upon Him and He cannot be moved or altered. 

I can choose to listen to His Word which tells me I am more than (greater than, exceedingly above) a conqueror through Christ (Romans 8:37).  I can refuse the lies of the enemy, the whispers in the dark that prey upon my insecurities and misgivings.  Instead of focusing upon my lack of strength, abilities, and capacity, I can choose to focus upon what God's Word has stated about my position in Him as Adopted Son, Joint Heir with Christ, armed and equipped with everything needed to walk successfully in this life, the effective abundant rich life that God has called me to.  Any whispered notion contrary to this is in my mind and heart is, in a word, "Unworthy".

Drought

The other day I was flipping through an online weather service and was surprised to learn that the area that I live in was considered to be under "drought conditions".  There was a small map on the page so I clicked and indulged my curiosity.  The map showed our region high-lighted in a sickly brownish orange.  Worse still, on the graphic before me - creeping dangerously closer - was an approaching massing of red color indicating "severe drought".  I found this perplexing as I had taken notice of no brown lawns, heard of no water rationing, seen no wilting crops or trees shedding foliage. 

I was puzzled as to how we could be near "severe drought" conditions when all the world around seemed green and lush.  My walks into the countryside overlook oceans of green crops gently swaying in early morning breezes, most of which are taller than I am.  Freshly mown lawns, roadsides and wildflowers put forth fragrances in the cool morning air that are both refreshing and invigorating.  This is often accompanied by the gentle rustling of foliage as light winds stir the canopies of the trees that grace these paths.  There is evidence all about me of flourishing life.  But here on the screen before me was the foreboding warning of imminent ruin in the words "severe drought". 

"Ridiculous" I thought to myself as I went to the faucet to fill a glass of water to quench my sudden unexplained thirst.  The forecasters must have it wrong.  Then I began to ponder the conditions that would prompt such an obviously misguided prognosis.  It dawned on me that I had seen probably no more than one or two days with rain this past month and of those days, the rain came intermittently and never in a solid, day long, steady shower.  It also dawned on me that I had seen many lush green lawns, but I had also seen a fair number of sprinklers put forth to keep those lawns lush and green.  Further, my own lawn was needing weekly mowing, not from the turfgrass growth, but from the weeds that thrive when the turf is in decline. 

As I continued to mull these events over, the condition of drought became less ludicrous and more credible in my understanding. Though the world was green around me, drought conditions did exist.  Though to my eyes all was lush, hidden to my understanding was the damage that was currently occuring and would soon present itself in the fields, turf, and landscape from a lack of necessary regular rainfall and irrigation. 

Suddenly, ice-water sounded really good.

I can apply this to my walk with the Lord as well.  I love and follow Christ and I have, for the most part, proclaimed him as my Lord and Savior for most of my life.  This earns me no special status.  Many people make this claim.  Why is it, then, that so many who claim His lordship in their lives, who profess to know Him as Savior find themselves disconnected, weakened, and powerless in their own lives?  Why is it that people who have near perfect church attendance records, volunteer to teach sunday schools or greet at the church, or involve themselves in any number of outreach ministries find themselves empty and "dried up"?  Why is it that those who profess to know and fellowship with the authority of heaven find themselves subject to the whims of day-to-day circumstances and misdeeds of others?

Connectivity and involvement with the local church is tremendously important.  Applying your giftings, time, and resources in the name of Christ to reaching and ministering to others is likewise important and even critical.  I am actually focusing the microscope inward, at myself as much as any - which is the point of this blog.  For even though these are important outward works of the Body of Christ, above all God desires relationship with you and with me.  It is why we were created.  But what happens when we are too busy?

I very recently found myself in the trap of being so busy living the life God gave me that I was having trouble making time for the One who gave it to me.  Relationship with my Father was being ignored for all of the obligations and demands upon my time and the effects were telling.  I could see it in my home, in the manner in which I handled stresses at work, and in my initial reactions to those who were unkind or "less than Christian" to me.  I felt the disconnect and no matter how much I struggled with it in my own strength, no matter my good intentions, things always seemed to be going sideways.  I felt faith and strength drained from me - I was wilting.

I was not able to live to the fullest, "abundant life" as promised in the Word, because I was failing to regularly water my heart with the Word, water my relationship with my Father with time spent alone with HIm.  I was drying up and quickly becoming a burned out shell, weak and depleted of will, strength, and motivation.  I was going to church, I was listen to my favorite Christian music on my favorite Christian radio station.  I was praying in my car and reading clever sayings and quotes on media sites.  I was even daily trying to squeeze in those bursts of scripture from sites I've subscribed to in triage fashion.  But this isn't relationship.  This isn't immersion. 

God wants so much more for each of us.  He wants daily moment-by-moment, "in the now" living for Him.  The only way we can achieve this is by being regularly refreshed and watered in His Word, in time spent with Him speaking our hearts, prayers and petitions and listening for His reply.  I've never heard the thunderous booming voice from the clouds, but I've often heard the soft quiet whisper in my heart that I know to be Him; but only when I'm listening.  Only when I desire to hear.  Only when I commit to be still and know He is God.

This week our forecast is calling for near record temperatures and it is anticipated that the effects of our drought conditions will become readily apparent.  But the heat of this week is not what initated the problem in the biology of the local plant-life.  It was the lack of rain the entire previous month that has and will adversely affect the green world around.  It is not the trial that will uproot your faith or frustrate your will or your plans.  It is your lack of regular fellowship and seeking of our Father.  It is the lack of root structure that prevents the plant from withstanding the scorching trials and pressures of this world and the enemy's unending assaults.  Roots naturally grow through regular irrigation.  They seek it out.

Jesus knew exactly what He was referencing when He stated that He possessed Living Water.  The first chapter of John shows us that Jesus is the Living Word.  The Word is Living Water and is available to our thirsty souls any time we desire.  Psalms 1:3 says:

"Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do."  (NLT)

Personally, I would like to prosper in all that I do, but I know it is not within my own strength or intellect to achieve this.  I would like to bear fruit in every endeavor and every effort that I put forth, but I find myself stretched too thin and too limited in my being to keep up with the plans that God states He has for me..  It is only in the center of God's Word that I find the wisdom, the patience, the knowledge, and the quenching of my thirst for fulfillment.  It is only in my relationship with Him that I find growth and strength to withstand the dry times.  We must guard against the business of our lives to make sure we allow for the necessary watering of our souls for this is how we become the trees that bear fruit in the garden that is our lives.  Tending the garden of our relationship with Him, watering ourselves in His Word - this is how we stay green and strong even when the world is forcasting drought.

Why I don't need Humility

Humility?  I don't need it.  I'm perfectly humble!

Examine that statement for second.  Is there any possible way in which a person can state the above and NOT sound like they are riddled with pride?  Imagine yourself in a church service where everyone has their eyes closed and heads bowed.  What would you do if the pastor suddenly said "I want everyone who needs more humility to raise their hand!"  Would you peek and then shoot your hand up?  (You don't want to embarrass yourself and rocket that arm up if nobody else is, right? - Think about the irony of that question...)  But most of us think we are fairly humble people, don't we?  We try to be nice to others - even serving them.  We try to remember to let at least one or two cars go in front of us in the evening traffic quagmire when everyone is trying to get home.  We try to be patient and not thank badly of the woman wrestling that screaming toddler with two other children playing tag in the checkout line wreaking havoc on the efficiency of the whole. 

"OK, why the 20 questions on humility already?"  Because I don't need it.  Do you?  Honestly, is this in your "Top 5 Self-Improvement List" for God to work on with you?  For most of us, it falls far below, possibly not even making the chart, yet somehow God keeps bringing me back to it.  I've written on this a couple of different times in posts entitled It's Not About Me: Resting in Humility and The Power of Submission Through Humility so it is evident that the Lord is dealing with me on this issue.  But why keep bringing me back to it? 

Up until now, God has shown me in His word my part in humility and its tremendous importance in my life.  But do we ever consider the humble nature of God?  The Word is clear, the nature of the Son is the same as the nature of the Father which is the same as the nature of the Spirit.  They are one in thought and intent, one in value and in objective.  Unified and distinct.  But do we ever ponder humility as a character trait of our Father? 

It is awe inspiring to gaze at deep space imagery and consider the hand that framed the heavens.  It is equally magnificent to study the microscopic intricacies that permit life to even exist on our planetary sphere and to consider the mind that has designed these to perfection.  Praise readily comes forth when we enrapture ourselves in the greatness and magnitude of our Creator when we bear witness to the power of the oceans and the majesty of the earth.  All of this is without even considering His redemption of our doomed race from death and hell and price paid to usher us into His presence.  His love is overwhelming.  His majesty is staggering.  His power is incomprehensible.  His humility is.....?  We draw a blank.  Why?  Why do we fail to see the strength and necessity of humility in our day-by-day, moment-by-moment walk of faith?  Shouldn't we be seeking to emulate Him?

"Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion."
Philippians 2:5-8 (MSG)

This verse is powerful to transform how we interact with each other.  The heart of a servant is revealed and we can see our Savior washing dusty feet, silencing the bickering between a dozen men who still couldn't grasp what it meant to love selflessly.

Why do we stop here though?  Why do we continually hit the mental wall of humility being equal to being abused and downtrodden?  It's because we continually fail to see the power of humility and its affect in turning our circumstances and the promises associated with it.

The reward of humility and the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.
Proverbs 22:4 (AMP)

Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.
Matthew 23:11-12 (MSG)

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.
James 4:16 (NLT)

Humility isn't about seeing who can get the most people to step on them.  Jesus was perfectly humble, never sinned, and even in humility angrily drove money changers out of the temple.  The Father in complete majesty, power and glory is completely humble, though all praise in the universe is due Him.  Is this such a stretch?  Can you imagine if He did not possess humility?  First, it would be His absolute right to boast about anything He wished, and secondly, it would be His absolute right to wipe out anything that challenged His absolute authority and power.  "But for the grace of God go I...."

But Humility is core to His nature, as is Love, as is Grace, as is Mercy, as is Righteousness, Purity, Goodness, Kindness...where do we stop?  This God, our Father, is so big and cares so much for each of us.  But often we are too busy to pay attention to Him.  We are too busy, too worried, too fearful, too proud living this life that He has given us and sustains to come to know Him.  Love and Humility, Patience and Grace, Mercy and Goodness - all waiting for us to turn our thoughts, our attention to Him.  And do you know who He takes special note of?

For all these things My hand has made, and so all these things have come into being by and for Me, says the Lord. But this is the man to whom I will look and have regard: he who is humble and of a broken or wounded spirit, and who trembles at My word and reveres My commands.
Isaiah 66:2 (AMP)

When do we tremble at and revere His Word?  Remember, "the Word was made flesh".  He has modeled humility to us on such a grand scale that just like love, and numerous other character traits of His, we will spend the rest of our lives trying to get it right.  The beauty of it all is that He is the one who empowers us to do so. 

In the face of an eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent tender loving Father who sacrificed that which was most dear to Him to bring me, a faulted creation, into His family and continues to put up with my faults, my failures, my ungrateful outbursts, my lack of trust and at times my faithlessness and even continues to bless me in spite of it - in the face of all of this, I could never imagine why I (especially) should ever fail to run towards more humility.  I invite you to examine and ask yourself "Why I don't need more humility?"